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Monday, February 7, 2011

Hokiescopes (Week of Feb. 7-13)

Since the WorLD WiDe wEb is full of predictions and horoscopes, then I must declare my piece of the “MOON-PIE!”
This web-log will prove its lack of awareness about the future by posting a drowsy consciousness pertaining to hold the keys to the future. Unlock the secrets of your sign as we peer skyward through the eyes of this week’s Hokiescopes  
(And you don’t even have to sign up for anything!)

Week of February 7th - Feb. 13th)

Aquarium (Jan 21-Feb. 19)
   You are assertive, without being self-assertive.  This week, you may feel the need to go surfing because you will get the word, “assertive” confused with “A-Surfer.” You will snap out of it, because it is cold.
Fish, Blue Gill, Pisces and such (Feb. 20-March 20)
   Your sign may dislike discipline and confinement. That’s why you don’t do well in jail.  Try not to go there. 
  If you’re there already, your sign has the ability to withdraw into a dream world.  
  This can also work if you feel like your job is more like jail.
NAries (March 21-April 20)
   Do NOT disregard your pioneering spirit.  IF you do, you will never build that time machine you’ve wanted since you were a kid.
Tires (April 21-May 21)
  You dislike quarrels and general ill-feelings. 
  For the female Tires, yoga can help you relax and get rid of bad thoughts.
  For the male Tires, your next yoga class will be never.
Jim & I (May 22-June 21)
  You may sometimes escape blame by contriving to put it on others.  Don’t do that anymore.
   But if you must blame others, be very sarcastic. At least, you can laugh about it later.   
Canker(June 22-July 22)
   You have a talent for mimicry. You can sit outside with your friends at night making “bug zapping” noises... sure to delight and amuse.
  This week, however, be careful of bad karma, while showing off your talent you may inadvertently swallow a bug and gross yourself out... but when you puke; it will make your friends laugh.
(Sore-ee! This week’s Hokiescope only applies to "Warm Climate" Cankers)
Cle-O (July 23-Aug. 22)
   You may be at the forefront of cutting-edge technology.  You are ahead of your time in business practices.
   The only problem is you don’t really have time to develop this skill because you’re too busy reading about your future on the internet, playing video games, or you can’t turn your head, and look away from the next episode of “Jersey Shore,” etc…
Vertigo (Aug. 23-Sept. 23)
  You may start your day with four eggs, three sausages, and three biscuits. But you have to learn to eat something the rest of the day.
  This week, try something like scheduled meals. Ice cream and chocolate chip cookies don’t really qualify as a meal.
Libra kadabra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
  Sometimes you tend to beat yourself up over nothing. But that’s better than someone else beating you up over nothing.
  This week, look at your pet goldfish and say, “You’re worthless... You’ll never amount to anything and you’ll never turn into a swan!”  Take out your frustrations on innocent creatures that don’t have ears.
Crawdad (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
   Sometimes, you can be unforgiving of the faults in others.  The San Andreas Fault is really BIG!
   It creates unforgiving damage in the form of earthquakes.
   Eruptions about the “faults” of others are like earthquakes... I have no idea where I’m going with this... Just remember, earthquakes are not your fault!
Satch-YOU-Terry-Us (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
  You may have a choice between career and family. The circumstances will arise in such a way that you won’t even understand your decision. 
  But once the assessment is made the choice will become obvious that you have formed a conclusion and the decision will be one of your options.
Capricorny (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
  You make an excellent educator. But you make a better vacationer. If you are a teacher, take a day off this week, and read some stories (perhaps at the blog-sight, UnfoundedNiche)
  Say it to yourself, “I’m as good at vacationing as I am at educating.”  Bah! DON’T start talking to yourself out loud again - just ask questions silently in your mind… then give it a rest… there you go.

I Predict... local school closing for this week!!  If you live here in Tennessee... Just wait and see what your future holds- "The Hokiescopes Have Been Written!"

**  Next week we may discuss what each sign means.  For instance the sign for Tires (April 21-May 21) is a Bull.  What would a bull have to do with tires?  Tune in next week for the answer.

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