Do not take this blog seriously, and don't drive and read!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Hokiescopes (Week of April 2- Aril 8, 2011)

Since the WorLD WiDe wEb is full of predictions and horoscopes, then I must declare my piece of the “MOON-PIE!”
This web-log will prove its lack of awareness about the future by posting a drowsy consciousness pertaining to hold the keys to the future. Unlock the secrets of your sign as we peer skyward through the eyes of this week’s Hokiescopes  
(And you don’t even have to sign up for anything!)

Week of April 2–April 8, 2011)

Aquarium (Jan 21-Feb. 19)
  The more extroverted Aquarium has a magnetic personality.  The more introverted Aquarium has refrigerator magnets.
  Figure out which one you are this week and either re-decorate your frig or take out a restraining order on your stalker.
Fish, Blue Gill, Pisces and such (Feb. 20-March 20)
 You may be popular and have generous qualities, but that doesn’t mean your going to give up your hamburger to the neighbor’s dog. But you don’t have to kick the dog... come on! Stop kicking the dog!  Just stop it! Cut it out!
NAries (March 21-April 20)
  You’re spirited and must have the freedom to act rather than just thinking about it.
  Buy that new Harley you’ve always wanted or learn how to stitch a quilt. After you’ve mastered both hobbies, satisfy your “dangerous side.”  Have some fun. Stitch a quilt while riding a Harley.
Tires (April 21-May 21)
  You love to exhibit your fun side, especially in public.
  This week, you may be asked to leave a Pay-Per View Wrestling event FOR  DISRUPTIVE behavior. That would be a “first” (for anyone else)... it will be a “fourth” for you.
Jim & I (May 22-June 21)
  You can be successful at anything you do, but sometimes you’re unreliable. For instance, being a JEDI is just not in the cards for you—ever.
   You would never make it to the planet Dagobah to find Yoda. However, your reasoning makes sense. Who wants to go to a “swamp planet” for some schooling; when you have “hyperdrive” and a “Jedi- Starfighter,” and the whole universe at your disposal?  
Canker(June 22-July 22)
  Your love for personal hobbies and romantic endeavors coincide with irresistible charming behavior sure to bring out your magnetic persona to the “right” person this week. You will impress that “special someone.”
  Don’t even put any thought into it.
  In fact, present yourself as a “singing telegram.”  Show up wearing a bee-keeper’s outfit. She or he will fall in love with you… no questions asked. And they’ll call you “honey.” – Sweeeeet!!
Cle-O (July 23-Aug. 22)
 One of the faults of your sign is your tendency toward favoritism, but that’s not all bad. It’s not your fault.
  Sometimes, folks you know don’t deserve as much love as other folks you know.  .
Vertigo (Aug. 23-Sept. 23)
 You’re very studious and teachable. But much like “Jim & I,” you will NOT become a JEDI – ever.
  Not because you won’t go the planet Dogabah to find Yoda, but because you already know more than Yoda .
Libra kadabra (Sept. 24-Oct. 23)
  You always make someone feel better for having known you.
  The only problem is… those people you meet along the way can’t ever reach you because you keep changing jobs, or your address or phone number or PO Box, or NAME, etc.
Crawdad (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
  You hate flattery or being flattered or flattering or whatever the heck it’s called. This week, you do not mind telling someone how good you are at your job.
  But try not to be so sarcastic when you explain how bad they are their job!
  Your lucky color this week is crimson.  Your lucky numbers are not letters.
Satch-YOU-Terry-Us (Nov. 23-Dec. 22)
  You love to initiate new projects.
  This week, you may figure out a way to make agri-business development more successful in Tajikistan or Bangladesh.
  You may rush right out to tell everyone in the country about your plan. The only problem is… you don’t live in either of those countries.
  And if you start telling folks in Cherry Creek about your strategy for better farming in Bangladesh, they’re just going to look at you funny!  You could also be shot while standing next to a “No Trespassing” sign.  You don’t want lots of giggling at your funeral do you?
Capricorny (Dec. 23-Jan. 20)
  You love being a professional in the workplace. This week-- even if you hate your job & you hate baseball-- you may buy an umpire’s uniform and pretend you’re a professional umpire.
 Just don’t toss your boss out of the game.
 Your boss just doesn’t understand your enthusiasm, or your creativity, or you screaming at him/her and having soil kicked on to his/her shoes.

Last time & the time before that and so on, I think we said we might discuss what each sign means.  You never can tell what the future holds… SO Just Hang in There!  Maybe it will happen next week!  Next week, we’ll plan something… and write it down. Typing the future is sometimes misinterpreted. Where as, writing strange verses with a quill pen under dim, candle light shadows is much more intriguing. AND Accurate!
The sign for Tires (April 21-May 21) is a Bull.  What would a bull have to do with tires?  Tune in next week for the answer—OR NOT… Tires are more like the shape of “tumbleweeds”

TO: The Undiscovered Sign:
(The sign the stars refuse to shine on… just yet)
You’re a mogul. “Mogul” spelled backwards is “Lugom.”  How ‘bout that eh? Wow!

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